Dave's 30th Birthday Song
by Mark Kapner

Once in a lifetime this birthday appears
Fifty two weeks after twenty nine years
It frightens the weak and it sobers the strong
And gives me a reason to sing you this song

For ten thousand nine hundred fifty odd days
Dave's been a player in so many ways
Computers and dancing inspire him to lust
But now he's too old for a youngster to trust

Now Dave is a dude with some very long hair
But we would still love him if his skull was bare
If this was the 60's he'd look right in place
With hair to his butt and a smile on his face

On the third of December in seventy one
*Dave's* stay on *this* planet began its run
To look at him you'd think his life's been a gas
But his website informs us that "High school sucked ass"

So then he became a computeroid geek
I'd tell you more details but David might freak
I can't end this song without mentioning one
He says sleeping with ferrets was manly and fun

So there you have it, my song is all sung
On the ladder of life Dave's reached on major rung
That's all 'till next year, I'll see you all there
And tell how he almost got ate by a bear

                       - Mark Kapner